On being a widow
Posted by
Pam Cuming
Sometimes couples learn to dance so well together that when one of them dies, the other can scarcely navigate the dance floor. To lose the love of one’s life is to feel like a part of us has been amputated. There is a vacancy, an emptiness that can never be filled. No matter how wondrous the people we meet in the future, the amputated limb can never be replaced or regrown. The word “widow” is derived from the Indo-European widhwe which means to be empty, separated, divided, vacant, lacking. That is precisely how it feels. In claiming the life of your mate, Death claims you, too. Though you continue to breathe, and your heart continues to beat, you feel battered, as though the life force that used to surge within you has become a mere flicker that can barely sustain you as you struggle through your days.