Death Cafe

Death Cafe profile for Tracey West

Location: United Kingdom

https://www.facebook.com/Lyme-Regis-Death-Cafe-631330194030336/

About Tracey West:

My name is Tracey West, I'm 54, I run an environmental charity in Lyme Regis, Dorset and I've been chewing over starting a Death Cafe for ages.

Almost everyone I spoke to about it, encouraged me to make it happen. After having a word with my diary and realising there are never going to be enough hours in the day for me to take on another big new project, here we are - this needs to happen!

I've never shied away from talking about death but I only really started considering my own demise after a young friend was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. It took him out swiftly, bizarrely, on the exact date they said he probably had left to live.

Make every one of them count, I say.

His death well and truly pricked my mortality and I knew I'd rather square up to the idea of how I wanted to shuffle off this mortal coil, in a healthy, happy and willing state.

Alongside my soulmate and amazing husband, Simon, hand in hand and over lots of cups of tea, we cheerfully talked everything through, did a bit of research and eventually found a beautiful place to rest our bones, where they could plant trees on us too!

With smiles and lighthearted giggles, we told the kids, we told our friends, we made our wills and then we packed it all away. It won't be a surprise or shock for whoever is left behind to sort the 'stuff' out. We know, that they know what's what - that has to be a kinder way.

One thing's for sure: we're all a day closer to our final 24 hours than we were yesterday. I'm happier for having faced that remarkable inevitability with a clear head and a full tin of loose leaf tea.

If I can encourage others to consider doing the same, I'll be happy.

What brings you to Death Cafe?

Before Lockdown: It's happening as a result of a wonderful collaboration with Lyme Forward, the not for profit organisation that runs our Community Cafe and Food Bank.

The manager, Chris Tipping and I, are very excited about bringing the Lyme Regis Death Cafe to our community.

During Lockdown: we hold the meetings virtually via Zoom.

What would you like your legacy to be?

If I'm honest, it's hard to be that self-analytical and to think about any legacy I'd like to leave, but as you've asked, here goes:

I'd like to be remembered as the woman who used 10 words when 1 would do and also as a person who not only saw the glass as half full, but who was actually just chuffed to have a glass!

Thoughts for sharing:

How thin the veil is between life and death - if only we had the ability to see more clearly through it.

I've lost a few friends and family during the 54 years I've been on the planet. As I get older, the frequency of passings seem to be increasing and there's less sense in the names that keep being added to the list of those gone.

One thing's for sure, I know there's no rhyme or reason for why 'lights out' happens when it does.

My coping mechanism is to try to have no fear of it coming for me. I'm also doing my level best to make sure I do a handbrake turn into it when my sand eventually runs out.

My favourite quote of all time:

"Don't dream it, be it" Frank N Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Contact Tracey West