Ottawa's First Death Cafe

A write up of Death Cafe | Ottawa

By deathcafeottawa

Ottawa welcomed Death Café with open arms. Without a doubt, the time to shift this conversation, and most importantly to HAVE the conversation, is now.

Much to our surprise, the June 19th event sold out within 24 hours of an Ottawa Citizen article hitting the stands, and we saw the wait list for the next event, on November 6th, grow to over 80 people.

Our first Death Café was held at a beloved local café, Illume Espresso Bar. We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful space. One that transformed seamlessly into our very own living room. It was an event that quickly became a gathering of friends; one that was as much about death and dying, as it was about life and living.

As guests arrived, you could feel a sense of discomfort with the unknown, as well as an undeniable sense of curiosity and interest.

Guests were seated at tables of four or five people, complete with funky flowers by Flowers Talk, some crayons and blank paper. Each table was also given a jar full of questions to get the conversation going, or to guide shifts and diversity into the topics discussed. The questions ranged from death, dying, loss, and grief … all the way to life and living.

Guests were encouraged to get up throughout the evening to contribute to the “Before I Die” wall. This allowed participants to reflect on how increasing our awareness of death, dying, loss and grief can truly inspire the way we live today, acknowledging that our time here is finite and precious. Something that may seem morbid at first, but quickly becomes inspiring, liberating, and motivational.

By the end of the evening, the café was filled with laughter and tears, lively discussion and beautiful stories, hopes for the future and honouring of the past. Hugs were bountiful and countless requests poured in for a second Death Café.

Given the presence of media at the event, we wanted to come up with a creative way to ensure guests felt a strong sense of confidentiality and comfort. Upon arrival, we invited guests to create a name tag, and had the option to include a bright sticker if they preferred not to be interviewed or captured in the photographs or video. This worked beautifully. If you can believe it, we even had guests taking off their stickers throughout the night as their comfort level increased.

We were fortunate to have a local photographer, Bonnie Findley join us to take pictures throughout the evening, as well as videographer, Jesse Card from House Edge Media to do a short video of what a Death Café is all about. Both the photographs and video (on our Facebook page, and Hereafter Events site) have truly helped to de-mystify and encourage potential guests to participate. We also had freelance journalist Julia Sisler join us who created a piece for CBC Radio’s Ottawa Morning, which aired the next day.

Over two-thirds of our guests completed the evaluation forms, and feedback was overwhelmingly positive. The format, the venue, the food/drink, the experience … all gold stars. Of course, there is always room for improvement.

We have decided to make some changes for our next event based on the feedback:

• We extended the timeframe of the event by 30 minutes

• We will be exploring a ‘mid-event mingle’ and opportunity to switch tables as we shift the focus from death to life

• We (the hosts) will be interacting more with the groups, possibly joining a table entirely

For our second event, we sought out a space that would be equally as intimate (we love the coffee shop setting) but allow us to expand the number of participants. We are so grateful to announce our second location, Bluebird Coffee, which has a capacity of 50 people.

We are extremely grateful to have had such a lovely response to our first Death Cafe and are excited to host the next on November 6, which, even with the expanded capacity, sold out within four hours of the ticket release to our wait list.

We would like to send a big thank you to Jon Underwood, and the many other Death Cafe hosts who shared their invaluable insights with us in preparation of our Death Cafe. We are humbled to be a part of this amazing community.

Love,
Kate & Emma

More info:

http://www.hereafterevents.com/deathcafeottawa.html

Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/deathcafeottawa

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